Saturday, December 19, 2015

The Proust Questionnaire

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
2. What is your greatest fear?
-Being hit in the head
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
-Lack of humility
5. Which living person do you most admire?
-Barack Obama
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
-Dining out and cocktails
7. What is your current state of mind?
-Bemused by stupidity
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
9. On what occasion do you lie?
-To protect the innocent
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
-My growing midsection
11. Which living person do you most despise?
-Everyone currently running for the President of the United States
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
-“like” and “fuck”
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
-Pursuing happiness with my partner
16. When and where were you happiest?
-When I went skydiving in Australia
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
-To play the piano
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
-My age
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
-Driving across the Rocky Mountains in a 15 foot truck with a car in tow
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
-An astronaut
21. Where would you most like to live?
-500 years into the future
22. What is your most treasured possession?
-My nipple rings and tattoos
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
24. What is your favorite occupation?
-Being seated at a bar and having someone pour a drink for me.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
-A tiny hint of dandyism
26. What do you most value in your friends?
27. Who are your favorite writers?
James Joyce, Joyce Carol Oates, Frank Herbert, and John Fowles
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
-Auntie Mame
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
-I don’t know.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
-Innocent bystanders
31. What are your favorite names?
-Prada, Herm├Ęs, and Chanel
32. What is it that you most dislike?
-Religious and political idealogues
33. What is your greatest regret?
-That I didn’t learn to play the piano.
34. How would you like to die?
-Without pain
35. What is your motto?
-Life's a banquet and most poor suckers are starving to death!

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